something good, for something better

So many feelings. I'm excited, terrified, blessed, anxious, grateful (and a handful more of every feeling possible) for another little one to join our family. But the biggest feeling yet that I can't seem to shake has been one of what I'm going to lose in a few short months. Driving back from the grocery store, I peeked in the rear view mirror to see a little guy in shades belting out to the song "Sunflower." My heart is bursting for him. It's a happy moment. Then the emotions roll in and the feeling quickly fades. One-on-one time with him will never happen again (at least not like it has been). For the past 3+ years and nearly 5 days a week it's just him and I. And I love it. Here I am filled with a sense of loss on what I won't get with him anymore. #pregnancyhormones

It's crazy I know but how could there possibly be any more room in my heart when it has already been filled by two of the most amazing boys here on earth? It's hard to see anything past what I'm feeling in these moments. Please tell me I'm not the only one?

For now I'm just going to soak in these moments...just my Atti and I.

atti turns threee

What?! How do I have a THREE year old?! I still remember the day he was born. That first night in the hospital my heart just felt like it was going to explode. This little being was here to be with me forever. I found myself thinking about him and what his life would look like as he grew older.

Here we are with a social, energetic, little boy with the most tender of hearts. The transition into the new normal of motherhood was (and still can be) tricky. And yet everyday I find myself devoted to the care and love of this boy. He adds so much to my life and to our family. This world would be sad place without my little Atti smash in it.

At this stage in life: loves to ride his balance bike. Asks for donuts frequently. Not a day goes by without him saying, "I luff you mommy" followed by little puckered lips waiting for a kiss. His speech has greatly improved but still has trouble with articulation. Legos are his go-to toy. Good at negotiating everything. Puts socks on his hands for some weird reason. Loves playing in the bath but fights getting his hair washed every time (Tanner finally figured out a trick of setting a timer and when it goes off he knows its time for a scrub and for some reason that makes it okay). Prefers to "do it his self" when getting dressed. Is constantly singing or humming a tune. Gives the best hugs this side of the Mississippi. Everyone needs an Atticus in their life.

A few favorite Atti words/sayings:
"doovies" (tv/movies)
"poptorn" (popcorn)
"men" (soccer/Real Salt Lake)
"lala" (pumpkin blanket)
"pomise" (promise)
"boppa" (grandpa or grandma)
"mine tanner" (Dad)
"pint milt" (strawberry milk)
"pomise" (promise)

class of 2008 - 10 year reunion

Somehow things worked out that had me in charge of tickets and the venue for our Kearns High School ten year class reunion. First off, how the heck did I graduate high school TEN YEARS ago? Secondly, how did I get left with a bulk of the assignments?

Thankfully many fellow SBO's and Sr class officers assisted in the planning so I wasn't left alone. After spending the summer months stressing about selling enough tickets to cover our costs...we had 78 people purchase tickets. Which meant we broke even. Wahoo!

The night was fun and awkward (as high school reunions should be). We enjoyed a little buffet dinner and arcade games at Dave & Buster's. After all was said and done, I'm gonna pass on planning the next reunion. Thanks but no thanks.